Including Older Siblings at Newborn Sessions

Many parents who are welcoming their second or third baby often wonder what their newborn session will look like. Newborn sessions with a first baby are pretty straightforward: parents + baby in relaxed and easy moments at home. But what happens when there are toddlers or school-aged kids in the home? How are they included in the session?

Older Siblings Get Doted On at Newborn Sessions

The early days at home with a new baby are a big transition time, felt by every member of the family. There is often a stream of visitors coming to see the new baby, so I make a point of meeting the whole family. Part of this is making sure to give some extra attention to the sibling(s). I typically ask them to show their room, I take plenty of photos of just them, and I work to build them up with my gaze and my laughter. I have found that getting the older sibling(s) excited about the session is the key to making it fun for everyone.

How to Prepare Your Older Child for a Newborn Session

If you're nervous about how your toddler or big kid will handle sharing the spotlight with a new baby, you are not alone. Parents with older kids ask me about this a lot before a newborn session.

A few things that help:

• Talk about the session ahead of time, even just casually. "A friend is coming to take pictures of our family" sets expectations without making it a big deal.

• Don't over-hype it. Kids can smell pressure a mile away, and the second they feel like they have to perform, that's when the meltdown hits.

• Lower the bar. I’m after the goofy and the unscripted, the fumbles and the (possible) crying. That’s the real stuff you’ll want to remember. 😊

Older Siblings Set the Tone at Newborn Sessions

If older sibling is a wild one, we have a wild session. If older sibling is a shy and reserved one, our session is likely quieter and slower. If older sibling likes to control things, I enlist their help making baby comfortable and even let them take some of the photos. It’s the same way I lead family lifestyle sessions: the kids lead and I follow. Second-born or third-born kids just kind of have to roll with things, right? I guess it starts here. 😉

When to Schedule Your Newborn Session (Hint: Work Around the Toddler)

With a first newborn photo shoot, we're mostly working around what works best for the parents and the baby. With an older sibling in the mix, I actually plan around their schedule first. We want a fresh and resourced toddler, above all else. I usually find that mid-morning (between breakfast and naptime) tends to be when most toddlers are at their best, though every kid has their own peak mood and energy to consider. Some toddlers are best after their nap, before the witching hour sets in.

If your toddler has preschool or other activities to get to, know that we never want to make your kid rushed to get the shots. After 15 years, I’ve learned to work efficiently, but the best sessions still happen when the day has some room in it. Try to book a morning or afternoon session with nothing on your calendar right after, so your kid doesn’t feel hurried and you’re not stuck watching the clock.

Newborn Lifestyle Sessions Are For the Whole Family

I treat newborn sessions like family sessions in that they’re meant to document everyone in the family. Lifestyle newborn sessions don’t involve any posed set-ups or props and I don’t spend very much time photographing only the new baby. Instead, I encourage the family to move around in their home and share some cuddly time with their kids.

That said, I’m not a fly on the wall, either. I will make sure that the pile of dirty diapers is just out of shot. I will make sure the light is flattering on you, and adjust where you’re sitting if it’s not. Beyond that, my aim is capture your whole family connecting the way you do every day.

What Should Everyone Wear?

You don't need matching outfits (actually, please don't wear matching outfits 😉). What works best is picking a simple, relatively coordinated color palette. Think soft neutrals, colors that play well together, and comfortable clothes you’d realistically wear at home, maybe one notch nicer than usual. This way, everyone looks put together without looking like a overly coordinated photo shoot.

Older siblings can wear whatever makes them feel comfortable and like themselves. A kid in their favorite dinosaur shirt who is relaxed will always photograph better than a kid in something stiff and new that they hate.

Newborn Sessions with Siblings: Quick Questions

Will my older child be jealous during the session?
Big sibling feelings are totally normal during this time of family transition. Part of my job is making the older child feel like a VIP, with their own photos, their own spotlight, and a say in how things go. That usually eases those feelings in the moment too.

Can my toddler help with the baby during the session?
Absolutely, and I encourage it. Little helpers holding baby's hand or "reading" to them create some of the sweetest, most natural images.

What if my older child refuses to participate?
That's okay too. I never force it. Sometimes the funniest photo is a toddler who wants nothing to do with the baby that day, and a year from now you’ll be glad to have it.

What if my older child gets too rambunctious and is distracting?
For me, rambunctiousness is my favorite. Your toddler will never be too loud, too feral, or too weird for me or my lens. I love channeling big energy and the photos end up full of motion, real laughter, and a lot of life.

If you're expecting baby #2 (or #3) and wondering how it's all going to work with an older kid in the mix, the answer is: loudly, and with lots of snuggles. Book your newborn lifestyle session and let's document this wild, sweet chapter of your family’s life, big sibling energy and all. 😊