Including Older Siblings at Newborn Sessions

Many parents who are welcoming their second or third baby often wonder what their newborn session will look like. Newborn sessions with a first baby are pretty straightforward: parents + baby in relaxed and easy moments at home. But what happens when there are toddlers or school-aged kids in the home? How are they included in the session?

Older Siblings Get Doted On at Newborn Sessions

The early days at home with a new baby are a big transition time, felt by every member of the family. There is often a stream of visitors coming to see the new baby so I make sure that my visit is more to meet the whole family and not just the new baby. Part of this is making sure to give some extra attention to the sibling(s). I typically ask them to show their room, I take plenty of photos of just them, and I work to generally build them up with my gaze and my laughter. I have found that getting the older sibling(s) excited about the session is the big unlock in creating a session that is enjoyable for everyone.

How to Prepare Your Older Child for a Newborn Session

If you're nervous about how your toddler or big kid will handle sharing the spotlight with a new baby, you are not alone. This is a common thing that parents ask me about before a session.

A few things that help:

• Talk about the session ahead of time, even just casually. "A friend is coming to take pictures of our family" sets expectations without making it a big deal.

• Don't over-hype it. Kids can smell pressure a mile away, and the second they feel like they have to perform, that's when the meltdown hits.

• Lower the bar. My goal isn't a session full of posed smiles. I want the goofy and the unscripted, the fumbles and the (possible) crying. That’s the real stuff that you’ll want to remember. 😊

Older Siblings Set the Tone at Newborn Sessions

If older sibling is a wild one, we have a wild session. If older sibling is a shy and reserved one, our session is likely quieter and slower. If older sibling likes to control things, I enlist their help making baby comfortable and even let them take some of the photos. Just as I let the kids set the tone at family lifestyle sessions, I let them set the tone at newborn sessions as well. Second-born or third-born kids just kind of have to roll with things, right? I guess it starts here. 😉

When to Schedule Your Session (Hint: Work Around the Toddler, Not the Baby)

With a first newborn session, we're mostly working around what works best for the parents and the newborn. With an older sibling in the mix, I actually plan around their schedule first. We want a fresh and resourced toddler, above all else. I usually find that mid-morning (between breakfast and naptime) tends to be the sweet spot, though every kid has their own peak mood and energy to consider. Some toddlers are best after their nap, before the witching hour sets in.

If your toddler has preschool or other activities to get to after the session, know that we never want to make your kid rushed to get the shots. I’ve learned how to be efficient with shooting time, to get the shots I need without belaboring anything, but we always want balance.

Newborn Lifestyle Sessions Are For the Whole Family

I treat newborn sessions like family sessions in that they’re meant to document everyone in the family. Newborn sessions don’t involve any posed set-ups or props and I don’t spend very much shooting time photographing only the new baby. Instead, I encourage the family to move around in their home and share some cuddly time with their kids.

That said, these sessions are not pure documentary. I will make sure that the pile of dirty diapers is just out of shot. I will make sure the light is flattering on you, and adjust where you’re sitting if it’s not. Beyond that, my aim is capture your whole family connecting in a real and authentic way.

What Should Everyone Wear?

You don't need matching outfits (actually, please don't wear matching outfits 😉). What works best is picking a simple, relatively coordinated color palette. Think soft neutrals, think complementary color tones, think comfortable, yet slightly elevated or polished, clothing that you would realistically wear at home. This way, everyone looks put together without looking like a overly coordinated photo shoot.

Older siblings can wear whatever makes them feel comfortable and like themselves. A kid in their favorite dinosaur shirt who is relaxed will always photograph better than a kid in something stiff and new that they hate.

Newborn Sessions with Siblings: Quick Questions

Will my older child be jealous during the session?
Big sibling feelings are totally normal during this time of family transition. Part of my job is making the older child feel just as celebrated as the baby, which usually helps ease those feelings in the moment too.

Can my toddler help with the baby during the session?
Absolutely, and I encourage it. Little helpers holding baby's hand or "reading" to them create some of the sweetest, most natural images.

What if my older child refuses to participate?
That's okay too. I never force it. Sometimes the most honest photo is a toddler who wants nothing to do with the baby that day, and that's a real part of your family's story as much as any cuddly moment.

What if my older child gets too rambunctious and is distracting?
For me, rambunctiousness is my favorite. Your toddler will never be too loud, too feral, or too weird for me of my lens. I love channeling big energy and that extra excitement translates into more alive images.

If you're expecting baby #2 (or #3) and wondering how it's all going to work with an older kid in the mix, I promise it's going to be more fun than you think. Book your newborn lifestyle session and let's document this wild, sweet chapter of your family’s life, big sibling energy and all. 😊